Stuff I'm Going to Outlaw When I Become King of Everything

  1. Any type of smart phone usage in cars
    Not phone calls unless you park. No texting at all. No checking emails at stop lights or in traffic.
  2. Any and all scrolling news, scores, updates, etc. on television shows
    I'm looking at you, ESPN, Good Morning America, local nightly news, et al. Too much clutter on our screens...just tell me or show me what's going on or what I need to know.
  3. Holiday Creep
    Look. I like them all. But let's keep them in their time frames, shall we? No more Christmas stuff out before Black Friday. No more Valentine's Day stuff out on New Year's Eve (Target = guilty). Let's all live in the moment, kids.
  4. Soundbyte Politics
    In order to run for president for either party, you must write a manifesto of not only what you'll do, but how & when you'll do it. You can't say "I'm going to champion the middle class." You'll have to detail a plan of how you plan to do it as well as proposed due dates. Then the debates begin no earlier than 364 days before the election.
  5. Cats
    Of course, large wild cats will be exempt. But cats as pets? They're the worst. That's just science.