Why being bald is the SHIT

I have had alopecia since 5th grade (if my math is right, that's 16 years ago.) Trust me, I didn't embrace my baldness for quite some time. I'd say for the past 5 years or so, I have decided to rock the shit out of it.
  1. 1.
    I live in Sacramento. This past week the temperatures have been in the high 100s. It's too hot for hair.
  2. 2.
    Sex. I don't have to worry about my sweaty hair stuck to my forehead. Now I have more time to worry about what my face looks like.
  3. 3.
    When I wear my wig during the day at work, coming home and taking it off is the greatest feeling. Things I take off in order as soon as I get home: hair, pants, shirt and then bra.
  4. 4.
    I can wear a hat and sunglasses in public and people don't recognize me. This comes in handy often, especially since I'm a teacher.
  5. 5.
    Last but not least: I have the most beautiful bald head anyone has ever seen. Seriously.