MY REOCCURRING NIGHTMARES
My definition of nightmare is me being unorganized and rushing around, okay?
- •It's my first day of high school.I'm late, I can't find my classroom, I actually don't even know my schedule, and I'm crying because I am pretty sure I already graduated high school and I can't believe I have to do this all over again.
- •I'm late for an international flight.I obviously haven't started packing yet because my flight only leaves in 45 MINUTES. However, I still take my (painfully slow) time to decide what to bring. 3 toothbrushes or 4? Of course, once I'm finally on my way to the airport I realize I forgot something important like my passport. Or my son. When I get to the gate, it's 3 mins to take-off. They're calling my name but I'm sure I'll be fine until --they tell me I've been bumped from first class. HOW DARE THEY?! (I've never flown first class)
- •I'm a waitress again and I can't keep up with my tables.Did I refill their Diet Cokes? Why is the hostess seating more people in my section, I'm busy enough as it is! OMG how long have those people been waiting for me?? Nice "tip", asshole. Shit!! I forgot to ring in that food order. Be cool, be cool. Blame it on the kitchen.
- •I'm on the radio and I can't stop talking.I blabbing on about something, I don't know where I'm going with this story, I have way too many awkward pauses, I'm stuttering, my jokes aren't landing, and now I'm veering into controversial and offensive territory... Plus I'm pressing all the wrong buttons, playing the wrong songs and I missed all the commercials so my boss, every single client and all the listeners are mad at me. Wrap it up! Wrap it up! I still get paid, right?