Per @jennykoekoe 's request...
  1. "Are they identical?"
    People will ask this even if you have boy/girl twins. Maybe they skipped that day in biology class? I tend to answer with "Well, they might look alike but there is one key part that is definitely not identical."
  2. "Double trouble!"
    Said slowly and with a smirk. Almost always from older men who seemed to think they're being incredibly clever. Is there a handbook of smarmy comments handed out to men when they reach the age of 50? I can't be too annoyed though because these are the same guys that always hold doors open for me and my massive double stroller.
  3. "My uncle/sister/neighbor/boyfriend is a twin!"
    Everyone has a twin story. NONE of them are interesting.
  4. "Did you plan to...I mean, was, do twins run in your family?"
    Everyone wants to know if your twins were a result of IVF (in vitro fertilization) but doesn't know how to ask without sounding rude. Really, just don't ask. No one asks how single babies were conceived...although if that became a normal thing to ask, I bet there'd be some interesting stories...
  5. "Wow twins! How do you do it?"
    I appreciate the sympathy in this comment but I never know how to answer it. How do you do it? You just do! With help from family and friends. And coffee. And wine.