It's been a few hours since Hillary Clinton has been chastised by bloggers, GOP candidates, and Bernie fans nationwide for comments on Nancy Reagan & AIDS, and remarks about violence at Trump rallies. To fix that, we humbly submit the following gaffes that Sec. Clinton should avoid, and ask for nothing more than an ambassadorship in return.
  1. “You wanna talk real economic growth-- well, we had it in the ‘90s with Enron and!”
  2. “While Donald Trump would be the wrong choice for president, we do need to commend the transformative change he brought to the people of Atlantic City.”
  3. “Look, I was the first one to go down to Wall Street, look them in the eye, and tell them, ‘Even if you only want a 20 minute speech, I’m billing you for the full hour.’”
  4. “Senator Sanders likes to talk about the African-American community, but I was watching The Jazz Singer and attending Bill Cosby lectures long before he’d heard his first Sammy Davis, Jr. record.”
  5. “You know, we can lecture all we want about bravery, but I was bravely supporting Barry Goldwater in 1964 when it was very unpopular for young people to do so.”
  6. “Vice President Biden put Amtrak on his back, showing more devotion to rail expansion than any western politician since Hitler.”
  7. “Look Wolf, right now I’m saying ‘Black Lives Matter,’ in the general election, I’ll shift to ‘All Lives Matter,’ and that’s okay because both are so true.”