ARTICLES WE HAD TO WITHDRAW SO PETER THIEL DIDN'T SUE US

After suing Gawker into oblivion, we didn't want to be next. Here are a few of the articles we quickly retreated from our comedy site and all of these are satire, just jokes we will take down at the first legal complaint, please don't hurt us.
  1. Peter Thiel's cold dead eyes betray a sinister plutocratic ideal that stretches far beyond pragmatic capitalism.
    Don't sue! We're a comedy site! It's a joke!
  2. Peter Thiel's vivid scorn for all others is a solipsistic ending point for a society that equates capitalist success with moral authority.
    Haha no! Don't hurt us! We took it back.
  3. Peter Thiel's grotesque spite is a sign that we can all be less human even without the singularity.
    Redacted! New article is "everything is fine and Gawker shouldn't make plutocrats mad."
  4. Maybe a tech billionaire genius is more likely to be an asshole and we should be able to separate him from his accomplishments as we should separate art from the artist.
    Just kidding. He's a rich guy and a genius so he's right about everything.
  5. Peter Thiel is a mean prick with an ominous long-term goal, underscored by his Trump support, for power and dominance at the expense of others.
    I mean...start ups! Innovation! Jeepers!
  6. Peter Thiel may have murdered two drifters in 2005, and another four from 2007-2009.
    Apparently this is "libel." Whatever, man.