CANDIDATE KEYS TO WINNING TONIGHT'S DEBATE
- •HillaryNot fall for Trump's brilliant mind games of being a rambling insane person
- •TrumpTry to come across as a normal person for ninety minutes without alarming 55% of the nations population.
- •HillaryBe prepared to answer the damning evidence in the Wikileaks emails such as...uh...Benghazi?
- •TrumpAvoid groping on stage.
- •HillaryBe prepared to debunk and defuse both Clinton animus and conspiracy theories with a debate moderator brought in from Fox News.
- •TrumpYou're not going to be president so just go out there and have some fun.
- •TrumpAvoid sniffing like a cokehead as your supporting base prefers cheaper, less elitist drugs.