DO YOU SUFFER FROM TRUMP-O-CONDRIA?

Trumpochondria is the scientific term we just invented for an obsessive and worried fixation on Republican nominee Donald Trump. Are you suffering as well?
  1. 1.
    It's not your fault
    Many are alarmed that this moldy jackolantern from hell is a presidential nominee. Your worry—from the left, right, or center—is easy to understand.
  2. 2.
    Polls are not for every day use. Neither are hashtags.
    A sign of Trumpochondria is a repetitive cycle of worry and data that never gets resolved. Much like Hypochondria, it's important to break this cycle and return yourself to a healthy place.
  3. 3.
    Do not indulge in hyperbolic worry.
    Yes, the knuckle-fucking psuedo-fascists of the alt-right are the exact genetic inverse of a so-called "master race," but these meme-loving Auzi's are not the American people. They aren't even the bulk of Trump voters. Most trump voters just hate Hillary even more. It's helpful to remember that.
  4. 4.
    The math is against Trump. Even if Nate Silver is a cowardly fool.
    Yes, nobody predicted Trump's ascent in the primaries. But that was a 17 person race run like a circus against a field that counted Jeb(!) Bush as a heavyweight. The general election is a different animal entirely. Do you think Trump retains all of Romney's states ~and~ adds 64 electoral votes? Even if Trump adds Ohio and Pennsylvania and Iowa AND Michigan, it still wouldn't be enough.
  5. 5.
    Social media isn't real life
    For better and worse, the country is enormous. Arguing doesn't help much. Panicking helps even less.
  6. 6.
    So relax!
    After all, there's only a 25% that America as we seek to know it will end.
  7. 7.
    And a terrible president doesn't even mean the end of the country.
    Just saying