HOW TO INVEST IN THE POST TRUMP WORLD
Cafe is going to give you some tips and tricks for how to flourish in a post Trump world. Economics as satire—not liable for your bankrupt ass.
- •BUY: Russian propertyWith Trump and Putin as BFFs, nows the time to buy: especially as global warming makes Russia into a agricultural powerhouse with a mild climate.
- •BUY: MotorcyclesTrump voters love dangerous, shitty, masculine things that might kill them. Invest now! Profit later.
- •BUY: Schemes for rubesPeople are idiots. Trump is still milking rubes—shouldn't you? Get that sweet, sweet idiot cash.
- •SELL: tech stocksWith sanctions against foreign countries, many moving parts could get screwed up. Plus: maybe we're simply too dumb to work complex systems. So...
- •SELL: your web seriesStop investing time in it. Nobody has the patience to humor you anymore. We have real problems now.
- •HOLD: Your children closeIt's a scary time. Also: children organs prices are still uncertain. Hold them close.