HOW TO TALK TO YOUR PRO TRUMP FRIENDS

The election brought out a lot of raw emotions. Justifiably so: this is terrible and insane and likely worse than any of us know in a way that will resonate through history for decades. But your shitbird friends are happy! Here's how to talk to them.
  1. Remove enemies
    Your stereotypical Trump voter loves to hate. That's what they voted for! But hate only profits in opposition to an "other": Clinton, the media, minorities. Remove these stumbling blocks: make them defend Trump for what he is. They can't. That's the first step.
  2. Emphasize he's a politician
    "I just don't really think a politician is going to go through with his promises and you're foolish to have trusted that he cares" is a universally true argument. Especially when it's about a con artist. Sad!
  3. Make them get specific
    "How are tax cuts for the rich going to help? Under George W. Bush they caused an economic crash. How is having a ballsy president going to be good? Invading Iraq was Alpha—how'd that work out?" Force them to question specifics. Hit them with simple policy with dangerous results—Jeff Sessions, new attorney general, hates weed, Chad! Did you think that through??
  4. Ignore unity calls
    Holding hands with evil is a concession, not uniting.
  5. Put the onus on them
    They aren't racist but voted for Trump? Put the onus on them when there is a literal hate crimes section of motive called "Trump"—Google it! Don't let them be lazy bystanders; fucking buzz in their ears forever. Their vote has a consequence and being a good little liberal to leave them off the hook is a terrible idea. Make them feel a version of what you feel. Make them see the stakes.
  6. Tell them to fuck themselves
    The world is going to end and millions are going to die because of this. Shove their feelings up their ass. Being polite got us in this mess—it won't help us out.