SOME NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS

How to best prepare for 2017
  1. Put the petty shit to the side
    "Reading more" is a cute resolution for a normal yes. This isn't that. Think big and be big. In a world where an idiot lied his way into power, thinking small and humble seems stupider than ever.
  2. Remember: you can do anything, so make it count
    This 2017, remember that nothing separates you from the loud and evil but the volume and confidence with which you live. Impose. Throw shoulders. Sneer when deserved. Evil is out there, but they're no stronger than you. So get strong and act. Make them afraid of you.
  3. Subscribe to all the Cafe channels!
    We have animations on our Snapchat (Cafedotcom). Look, not *all* your resolutions can be about punching Nazis. Live a balanced life, yknow?