THE UPSIDES OF A TRUMP NOMINATION
With tonight's contest in Indiana looking increasingly likely to go to Trump, many are considering the possibility of a contested convention unlikely. Here is how you stand to benefit from a Trump nomination.
- •All your Game of Thrones viewing experience about to become super relevantGolden, insufferable prick moving toward power? Old man warning of a populist uprising? You've been prepared for this.
- •Get to watch Ted Cruz loseTell me that's not going to be satisfying, to watch the ultra conservative and insufferable kicked out for the apolitical and insufferable.
- •You'll have something to tell your grandchildren in your gaudy, solid gold retirement homesYour kids will be fascinated by the before-times. Try to barter those stories for some precious, precious bread.
- •The joy of knowing many major Republicans are as upset as you areBesides the misery-loves-company and the schadenfraude, can Trump even win without the coveted "boiled egg" vote?
- •Your liberal smugness is validatedYup.