THE UPSIDES OF A TRUMP NOMINATION

With tonight's contest in Indiana looking increasingly likely to go to Trump, many are considering the possibility of a contested convention unlikely. Here is how you stand to benefit from a Trump nomination.
  1. All your Game of Thrones viewing experience about to become super relevant
    Golden, insufferable prick moving toward power? Old man warning of a populist uprising? You've been prepared for this.
  2. Get to watch Ted Cruz lose
    Tell me that's not going to be satisfying, to watch the ultra conservative and insufferable kicked out for the apolitical and insufferable.
  3. You'll have something to tell your grandchildren in your gaudy, solid gold retirement homes
    Your kids will be fascinated by the before-times. Try to barter those stories for some precious, precious bread.
  4. The joy of knowing many major Republicans are as upset as you are
    Besides the misery-loves-company and the schadenfraude, can Trump even win without the coveted "boiled egg" vote?
  5. Your liberal smugness is validated
    Yup.