WHAT TO KNOW BEFORE TONIGHT'S VP DEBATE

Read this and sound smart over Twitter tonight.
  1. The Hillary Campaign has staked 80% of Tim Kaine's appeal on the hopes that you'll want to fuck this picture of him.
    "Pics included!" promise extremely confident fundraiser emails
  2. Mike Pence goes through twelve lemons a day rehearsing his patented pucker-scowl
    Look for the tell-tale seed during the debate.
  3. Tim Kaine was briefly floated as a possible VP for Obama way back in '08
    Obama ultimately went with Biden to provide age and experience to the ticket, and also to borrow Biden's famed mix-tapes.
  4. Mike Pence ran a comic in Law School that is non-political and deeply lame.
    Could this be the key to Scott Adams' support for the ticket?
  5. Fun Fact: Tim Kaine can play a harmonica
    Less fun fact: the Clinton campaign has obsessively pushed this issue as a defining characteristic. Get ready for old Tim Kaine to pull one out.
  6. Did you know: Mike Pence is not John Kasich?
    Kasich, an experienced and popular politician from a crucial swing state with visibility and debate experience was the obvious pick going in. But only Mike Pence could hold his nose to join Trump. Sad!
  7. Tim Kaine volunteered for a year in Honduras at 22
    This makes the election the second largest shit tornado he has ever experienced.
  8. Fun tidbit: Mike Pence believes in encouraging gay people to choose to be straight, doesn't believe in Climate Change and would seek to outlaw abortion.
    And as the brains behind the Trump administration he could! Jeepers!