Ted Cruz desperately needs to win Texas to stay afloat in the Republican primary. But any of these scenarios could lead to a Lone Star defeat:
  1. His constituents want him to keep doing what he does best -- wasting time in the Senate.
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    Just imagine a Senate Supreme Court confirmation hearing without Green Eggs & Ham. Terrifying!
  2. The Trump University professor told his students to vote for the other guy.
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    All the alumni of Trump U's Dallas Hyatt campus (Go Predators!) were told to vote for the candidate with the most gold silk in his private jet. That wouldn't be Cruz.
  3. He once again tweets that Carson is dropping out, repelling voters.
    If the race is close this evening, look for a desperate return to the Iowa playbook -- for which the voters will punish him.
  4. Much of his base will be occupied with a daylong snake-handling event.
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    The Lord pays no heed to primary election schedules.
  5. Karma, bitch.
    Ted Cruz may believe in a Higher Power. But the feeling doesn't have to be mutual.