WHAT A GODDAMN ROLLERCOASTER RIDE OF DISAPPOINTMENT
  1. I am very bad at Halloween costumes
  2. I always think I'm pulling something off better than I actually am
  3. The following is a record of just that phenomenon
  4. 2009: Megara from "Hercules"
    3c745db4 33c7 4b07 bd7b ef977e781904
    I was a sophomore in college and I remember being scandalized by how low the neckline of that purple dress was. A SEXY costume for Halloween? MOI?!
  5. 2010: Indiana Jones?
    46613209 7db9 48e0 8697 524a14673045
    I was at home for the Rally to Restore Sanity, so at least it was slapdash for a good reason.
  6. 2011: Beaker from "The Muppets"
    34406262 acfd 498e 92f8 cde42a456fa9
    One day I will speak at length about my love for the Muppets, but it is not this day. Beaker is objectively the best, though. It is also worth noting that this was the Halloween that I hooked up with a student dressed as Bill Cosby, officially my Worst Party Decision Ever.
  7. 2013: Shaun from "Shaun of the Dead"
    563b9912 5abe 4533 bc16 652e697459f6
    If you can find a way to work gallons of fake blood into your Halloween costume, I highly recommend it.
  8. 2014: unfortunate Jurassic Park tour guide
    Dccb2016 f6c1 40d7 8747 dab8518a991a
    Objectively the best costume ever. I will never top this.