BEAT THE HEAT!

Los Angeles has been hot as the devil's asscrack. Here are some ways to show that thermometer what-for!
  1. Live in a building with central air
  2. Fill your freezer with water and wait til it freezes into a giant block. Wrap it in plastic and cuddle it as you try to sleep
    You could call it your "ice ice baby". Or don't. I'll leave the specifics to you. Beat the Heat!
  3. Make Popsicles out of all your food. Juice Popsicles. Veggie Popsicles. Meat Popsicles.
    Meat Popsicle is my porn name, though, so don't get any ideas about stealing it.
  4. Go to the beach!
    Nothing like alternating baking alive on sand a toddler probably pissed on with literally getting punched in the face with frigid, angry walls of water.
  5. Hire neighborhood children to stand around and fan you
    This will be weird for everyone, but power through for the sake of Beating the Heat
  6. Move to Antarctica
    Though shit is melting down there, too. We're all fucked.
  7. Eat ice-nine
    Suggested by   @ChrisK
  8. Loiter in the frozen food sections of grocery stores. Any time anyone seems suspicious of you, change stores.
    Suggested by   @RachelP