HOW TO BE A WOMAN WALKING ALONE DOWN THE STREET

No matter what, it's gonna suck.
  1. Your pace must be swift as the coursing river
  2. If you make eye contact, you're totally "asking for it"
  3. Same with smiles
  4. Or really any visible emotion
  5. Headphones are your friend - you will pretend you can hear nothing else when you use them
    This makes you a bitch, according to the guys around you
  6. Sunglasses are like headphones for your eyes
    Which makes you a bitch
  7. Strange men will come up to you and touch you
    You will push them off you. This also makes you a bitch
  8. Strange men will command you to smile for them
    Refusing to do so makes you a bitch, or possibly a lesbian
  9. Strange men will also sometimes follow you
    This probably also makes you a bitch
  10. Get to your destination. Close the door behind you. Finally breathe.