MARX BROTHERS FILMS, RANKED BEST TO WORST

I was obsessed with them as a young child, thanks to my dad, mostly. Anyone wanna have a Groucho quoting contest, I'm here whenever
  1. 1.
    A Night at the Opera (1935)
    The state room scene. "How'd you like to feel the way she looks?" The contract sketch. Totally makes up for all that unnecessary opera singing
  2. 2.
    Duck Soup (1933)
    Everyone is all up on this movie's nuts, and I get it - it's political satire extraordinaire. But it always felt just a LIIIITTLE flat to me, mirror scene notwithstanding
  3. 3.
    Animal Crackers (1930)
    This movie was my inspiration for dressing up for a friend's birthday party as Captain Spaulding. I was six. It did not go over with my friend's mom, who accused my mother of attempting to raise "a little lesbian"
  4. 4.
    Monkey Business (1931)
    "Maurice Chevalier, eh?" To me, at five, this was the funniest shit ever. Even though it was 1995 and I had no idea who Maurice Chevalier was.
  5. 5.
    The Big Store (1941)
    Film #7392926 in which Margaret Dumont plays a gullible heiress who is romanced by Groucho. Tiny Caitlin adored the sequence of all the novelty beds - was fascinated by the concept of a Murphy bed, which my Brooklyn-dwelling father had to talk me out of. Also: Groucho turning to the camera and saying "this is a bright red dress, but technicolor is SO expensive" sticks with me to this day
  6. 6.
    At the Circus (1939)
    Decidedly meh, BUT - "Lydia the Tattooed Lady"
  7. 7.
    A Day at the Races (1937)
    Memory of this film totally eclipsed because it includes a song titled "All God's Chillun Got Rhythm" performed by several African-American actors. I remember even at about six years old thinking "holy FUCK is this racist"
  8. 8.
    Room Service (1938)
    Don't they kill Harpo in this movie? Also: Ann Miller, the ingenue, was only 15 when she filmed this, and if that doesn't skeeve you out, there's something wrong with you
  9. 9.
    Horse Feathers (1932)
    I think I turned this one off part way through. Always get it mixed up with "Day at the Races" because of the name
  10. 10.
    The Cocoanuts (1929)
    Remains unmatched by me because the local Blockbuster's only copy of the tape was severely damaged. Yet another reason I'm glad they're out of business