Gut reactions
  1. The Whisp
    You have not yet learned to use a razor OR you have big dreams
  2. The Tom Selleck
    I respect your follicular goals but not necessarily your follow-through. Nevertheless, you are probably A Real Man, though I could just be drawing this from Richard in "Friends"
  3. The Salvador Dali
    You have a playful side that has probably interfered with your sex life in the past
  4. The Handlebar
    You want to tie me to the railroad tracks in a potentially sexy way but we'll just have to wait and see on that
  5. The Hitler
    Nobody actually has this. If you do, you are the worst kind of hipster and also probably awful
  6. The Hulk Hogan
    You don't have a lot going on - plenty of free time for facial hair upkeep
  7. The Ron Burgundy
    Your office smells of rich mahogany and you speak mostly in "Anchorman" quotes