Sounds I get to hear as I sit next to my wife in the ER on our 18th wedding anniversary.

  1. Someone in the same room greedily slurping up ice chips.
  2. Matt Leblanc's oddly soothing voice.
  3. Some fucknut dragging garbage cans down the hallway.
  4. A weak voice declaring "I think I ate too many ice chips."
  5. My stomach rumbling.
  6. Infernal squeaking that eminates from nowhere and everywhere all at once.
  7. Someone vomiting melted ice chips into a plastic bag.
  8. UPDATE: Ice chips left and the next patient was an old man who screamed during his rectal exam. Thanks, Obama.