Calm Down Already, Vol 1.

If you haven't figured it out yet, there's a lot of dumb shit that bugs me. Like, a lot. It's a mix between stupid people and stupid things. But tonight, it's rooster shit.
  1. Ain't no luxury like rooster chair luxury. Unless you consider every other luxury on Earth.
  2. You know Karen bought these because she loves farmhouse decor but hubby Jeff kept them so he could say, "wanna grab my cock?!" every god damn chance he gets.
  3. For the person who wants to forget they used a decal and think there's a pesky recurring blood stain on the wall.
  4. I feel like this is straight up murder on display.
  5. You don't...maybe want to put those in the fridge? No? It's going to be at lease 90 degrees You sure?
  6. HAHAHAHAH wow, a wine pun AND a rooster pun HAHAHAHA. COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER?!
  7. Why would you want something holding your paper towels, that is legitimately pissed off that you're trying to clean up. He will fight you.
  8. Rooster's are not a part of the workforce, or really society for that matter... So, there's not much rebelling or outlawing they can, or would even do. What I'm saying is, they wouldn't wear cowboy boots, you weirdo.
  9. Yea Jeff, "sit on your cock" we get's just as hilarious as it was the first 20 times you said it.
  10. But why are they even made out of fruit?!?!?!?!
  11. To ward off sex...with anyone...ever!
  12. Need a new discipline tactic? Just buy a human sized rooster and promise Kayla it will peck her eyes out if she doesn't quit flushing barbies down the toilet.
  13. Staring straight from the pooper...into your soul.
  14. The beauty and artistry of stained glass/the tackiness of an evil multi-colored dino bird.