Hey Pinterest, We Need To Talk...

Most of the time, I really dig you. Let me start by saying that. But sometimes, you can be a total creep and I'm starting to think you need some time alone to reevaluate your life choices.
  1. Male Doll
    Titled "otherworldly" but, exponentially creepy will also be accepted.
  2. Hot Milk Cake
    Ew. What did we do to deserve a hot milk cake? Why can't we just have regular cake? Why are you punishing us??
  3. Toilet Paper Roll Snowmen
    Sorry kids! Mommy's too busy putting earmuffs on some poop accoutrement to help you with your fractions. You'll figure it out...OOH SCARVES!
  4. Ham Stuff
    Are you threatening me?
  5. Qalo
    A "wedding ring to match your active lifestyle"? I mean maybe... Or maybe more like when your fiancé is over it and just thinks "but what about rubber"?
  6. Hello Kitty Phone Case
    THIS IS OBVIOUSLY A CURSE BOOBY TRAP WHERE I SHOW UP FOR A PHONE CASE AND GET THIS ABSOLUTELY MENTAL DOLL INSTEAD AND THEN IT HAUNTS ME AND MY KIN FOR ETERNITY BUT MY PHONE ALREADY BROKE BECAUSE I NEVER GOT THE CASE SO I WELCOMED DEATH LIKE A WARM BLANKET.
  7. Tooth Cookie Cutter
    How broken inside do you have to be to take something as delicious as a freshly baked cookie...and make it look like a bone that fell out of someone's mouth. WHO HURT YOU?
  8. Fishing Shirt
    Fish and sex, yeaaaaaa, they go together like...they don't. They don't go together. Like at all. Ever. Stop being gross.
  9. Mind Quote
    Yea, Pinterest, you're at a fucking 12 right now and I'm gonna need you to come down to a 4.
  10. Pickle Roll Ups
    What hast thou done to bring such unrelenting scorn upon the Earth?!
  11. Sexy Books
    Wait a fucking minute...are those hockey sticks? Are we having sex on ice? Or sex with a hockey guy? Or like, sexy ice sex with a hockey guy? I'm confused by this setting altogether and not feeling randy in the least!
  12. Urine Tips
    Please...this is not a scenario I'd like to consider. Appreciate the nightmare fuel, though.
  13. Elf on a Shelf
    We gave him too much power. Now, there's no stopping him. You can only pray for mercy...