Hey Pinterest, We Need To Talk...
Most of the time, I really dig you. Let me start by saying that. But sometimes, you can be a total creep and I'm starting to think you need some time alone to reevaluate your life choices.
- •Male DollTitled "otherworldly" but, exponentially creepy will also be accepted.
- •Hot Milk CakeEw. What did we do to deserve a hot milk cake? Why can't we just have regular cake? Why are you punishing us??
- •Toilet Paper Roll SnowmenSorry kids! Mommy's too busy putting earmuffs on some poop accoutrement to help you with your fractions. You'll figure it out...OOH SCARVES!
- •Ham StuffAre you threatening me?
- •QaloA "wedding ring to match your active lifestyle"? I mean maybe... Or maybe more like when your fiancé is over it and just thinks "but what about rubber"?
- •Hello Kitty Phone CaseTHIS IS OBVIOUSLY A CURSE BOOBY TRAP WHERE I SHOW UP FOR A PHONE CASE AND GET THIS ABSOLUTELY MENTAL DOLL INSTEAD AND THEN IT HAUNTS ME AND MY KIN FOR ETERNITY BUT MY PHONE ALREADY BROKE BECAUSE I NEVER GOT THE CASE SO I WELCOMED DEATH LIKE A WARM BLANKET.
- •Tooth Cookie CutterHow broken inside do you have to be to take something as delicious as a freshly baked cookie...and make it look like a bone that fell out of someone's mouth. WHO HURT YOU?
- •Fishing ShirtFish and sex, yeaaaaaa, they go together like...they don't. They don't go together. Like at all. Ever. Stop being gross.
- •Mind QuoteYea, Pinterest, you're at a fucking 12 right now and I'm gonna need you to come down to a 4.
- •Pickle Roll UpsWhat hast thou done to bring such unrelenting scorn upon the Earth?!
- •Sexy BooksWait a fucking minute...are those hockey sticks? Are we having sex on ice? Or sex with a hockey guy? Or like, sexy ice sex with a hockey guy? I'm confused by this setting altogether and not feeling randy in the least!
- •Urine TipsPlease...this is not a scenario I'd like to consider. Appreciate the nightmare fuel, though.
- •Elf on a ShelfWe gave him too much power. Now, there's no stopping him. You can only pray for mercy...