Reasons I Immediately Groaned When Looking At Facebook Tonight

  1. Because someone shared a photo of a woman I can only assume is a porn star named "Ivanna Spankyou".
  2. Because someone took another Facebook quiz about the things they have and haven't done in life.
  3. Because one half of the most annoying couple ever, always posts painfully uneventful photos of her man but says how silly and embarrassing they are and how she hopes he will forgive her. With 50 cutesy emojis because they're such silly gooses.
  4. Because no short of 10 people posted "hilarious" things written in the Stranger Things opening font.
  5. Because someone who just started Game of Thrones is yelling at people about "spoilers".
  6. Because someone used "SWOLEMATE" over and over and over again.
  7. Because someone listed every god damn thing they did today like anyone gives a shit.
  8. Because the most annoying guy ever, posted a thousand pictures of a random moth that was in his apartment.
  9. Because people love sharing horrific news stories of parents killing their children in gruesome ways and commenting about how awful it is.
  10. Because this one girl won't stop using the "beauty face" thing on her phone, so every picture looks like she's covered in a solid 4 layers of Vaseline.
  11. Because I can only take so many posts about Crystal fucking Pepsi!
  12. Because, Donald Trump.