Things You Are Probably Doing This Weekend
Judging by my Facebook feed, these are the only things people are doing this weekend and nothing else on Earth exists.
- •Attending a baby showerJesus Christ, how many of you are pregnant at one time?! And how many teddies does one child need?
- •Graduating/attending a graduationSo many hats and robes.
- •Running a marathonI don't know why you people love to run, but hey, more power to ya! Enjoy that swamp ass and Gatorade.
- •Going back to school for alumni eventsYou folks love revisiting your colleges as adults. I guess there's some allure to PBR's, falling down old frat house steps and the sports ball games.
- •Getting married/attending a bridal shower.Wedding season is here! So...many...weddings, for the love of god make them and their 40 bridesmaids and cutesy hashtags stop.
- •Eating on a patioNo one gives a shit where or what they eat as long as it's on a patio and they get to keep their sunglasses on for all photos.