We Live In A World With Erotic Cakes (NSFW)

I am throwing my friend a low key bachelorette getaway this Saturday and while doing some research, I fell into an accidental rabbit hole of the gnarliest shit I've ever seen...erotic cakes. These are 100% real things people have made and paid money for. I just cannot.
  1. Is that supposed to be Sloth from the Goonies? If so...amazing job.
  2. You should get that checked out...I don't think it's supposed to be that color.
  3. A dick plane? Happy birthday, enjoy your dick plane? What even is this?!
  4. Ladies, if you EVER see a man touch his shoulder with his penis...you run. You don't ask questions, you just fucking run.
  5. So...you WILL like him when he's angry? Someone's not sticking with the story.
  6. I really respect her decision to serve our country.
  7. Why is his stomach an envelope and his dick so happy about it?
  8. You're setting unrealistic expectations because that part is not usually covered by sprinkles. Unless I've just dated the wrong men...
  9. This is a penis done in the style of your 1985 Care Bears birthday cake from Sam's Club.
  10. Did they drop like that?! Asking for a friend...
  11. What girl doesn't love a giant dong, flipping out of a pair of Wrangler jeans?
  12. Pearls, because she's a lady.
  13. SOMEONE GET THIS MAN TO A MINUTE CLINIC!
  14. The ol' breast sandwich! What a classic!