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  1. β€’
    Meep
    It means whatever you want it to mean. But mostly it means I'm unhappy with whatever is currently happening.
  2. β€’
    I mean...
    I mean, I probably say this too much.
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    Struggling
7 more...
  1. β€’
    "If I can lose 2 pounds in 4 days, then I can have pizza."
    Eye roll.
  2. β€’
    "I couldn't go to the gym without getting hit on. Like I would get hit on at least 2 times every time I went, so I started working out at home."
    SO MUCH EYE ROLL.
  3. β€’
    "If you compare me to my mom's sister, I look like her daughter. But I'm not. I'm her niece."
    The redundancy of her statements...
5 more...
  1. β€’
    "Dogs and cats are enough, you don't need kids. That's what I've already learned."
    She's 20. And saying this in the office she shares with two women that have children.
  2. β€’
    "I finally went to urgent care in Sunday because I was so sick. I have a full blown sinus infection."
    A) hypochondriac. B) you don't look, act, or sound like you have a sinus infection.
  3. β€’
    "I'm not eating processed foods or drinking caffeine."
    Good for you. There is really no need to tell the whole world.
5 more...
What a day in my office is like...
  1. β€’
    *Talking about someone's car troubles* She interrupts: "Well, I know it took my dad 30 minutes to start my car this morning and MY car is NEW."
    πŸ™„ I later learned her car is 5 years old. I wouldn't classify that as "NEW."
  2. β€’
    "Well on Saturday, my grandpa was rushed to the ER..."
    This is probably true, and unfortunate, but it was her effort to one up a story I was telling.
  3. β€’
    "My grandma poisoned me over the weekend."
    AKA gave her gluten.
5 more...
Ahh Chase... my sometimes witty, often unintentionally hilarious younger brother... To be continued.
  1. β€’
    "You look artificial. Your face is too smooth to be true."
    Thanks?
  2. β€’
    "If you touch my mongo, I will fill this room with Zyklon b."
    This is not the first reference to Zyklon b he has made. I think it might be he only thing he remembered from his history class.
  3. β€’
    "I'm 17, that makes me a minority."
    I believe you mean a minor.
11 more...
  1. β€’
    "I'm like, really sick. I didn't want to come to work today."
    Of course you are.
  2. β€’
    "Oh, your car only got 39 miles per gallon? Mine gets 45. My mom's gets around 50."
    After I told her how stoked I was about the good gas mileage I got on my road trip.
  3. β€’
    "I'm soooo sick. My mom says I should go to the hospital."
2 more...
I'm a day late...but I said I was going to do it! So here is is! Happy birthday @himay92 πŸ˜ŠπŸ˜­πŸŽ‚πŸŽπŸŽˆ
  1. β€’
    We met in sixth grade by pretending we were trees.
    I have no idea why, but it happened and it was great.
  2. β€’
    She once wrote and recorded a song about me taking a toy unicorn from @bristrod's locker.
    "When poor Mr. rainbow was kidnapped from his home against his will." Yes, I still remember it. Don't judge me.
  3. β€’
    One time, she inadvertently slammed her face down into the water while standing in a swimming pool and it was hilarious.
    And now we say she "pulled a Jami." @sarahshaw4
5 more...
  1. β€’
    Puppy😍
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    Sweet doggie I miss😒
  3. β€’
    Boise State πŸ’™πŸŠ
8 more...
I try to engage you in an effort to make this a two-person conversation, but clearly that's not happening.
  1. β€’
    Oh my gosh, shut up.
  2. β€’
    It's been 10 minutes; we're still talking about this?
    I do actually have a job I am supposed to be doing...
  3. β€’
    Oh, you interrupted me again? Well I guess I'm glad I was able to get those 2 words into this conversation...
    My story wasn't over, but I guess I will just listen to you.
5 more...