Things My Office Mate Said Part 3

  1. "Dogs and cats are enough, you don't need kids. That's what I've already learned."
    She's 20. And saying this in the office she shares with two women that have children.
  2. "I finally went to urgent care in Sunday because I was so sick. I have a full blown sinus infection."
    A) hypochondriac. B) you don't look, act, or sound like you have a sinus infection.
  3. "I'm not eating processed foods or drinking caffeine."
    Good for you. There is really no need to tell the whole world.
  4. *Someone taking about the sugar content of junior mints* "Well that would be why I don't eat candy."
    I've seen you eat candy a thousand times. You are no better than any of us.
  5. "Well I will show you how to add today, I guess."
    Here she was talking to the receptionist. My office mate works at reception for a whopping total of 15 minutes every day, but seems to think she knows how to do their job better.
  6. Her: "Ok I seriously can't type today." Me: ...... Her: "Like I should really be able to spell fire." Me: ................. Her: "I shouldn't have to type that four times!"
    How long can someone talk about something super insignificant without ever getting a reply? Eternity.
  7. "I think I'm the only one who can taste the difference between cage-free eggs and regular eggs. I hate regular eggs. They are gross. Cage-free taste so much better."
  8. "I'm sworn to secrecy, but I just found out that someone I know is pregnant with her fourth child. Total accident. They were done having kids. In fact, they gave away all their baby stuff last week."
    Why, why, why do you tell me these things???