1. "I'm like, really sick. I didn't want to come to work today."
    Of course you are.
  2. "Oh, your car only got 39 miles per gallon? Mine gets 45. My mom's gets around 50."
    After I told her how stoked I was about the good gas mileage I got on my road trip.
  3. "I'm soooo sick. My mom says I should go to the hospital."
  4. "I didn't do anything this weekend. My parents banished me to my room all weekend"
    Are you like 5 years old? Why would you say it out loud? You sound like a child.
  5. Her: "Well I'm going to go to the hospital." Me: "I hope you feel better." Her: "yeah, I think I have bronchitis."
    You are going to the hospital because you think you have bronchitis? You go to the regular doctor for that! Also you haven't coughed, sniffled, or cleared your throat once.