REASONS I'M LIKE THIS
- •Because I grew up in IdahoProbably could have ended the list here.
- •Because my wife makes me go to the "designated fart zone"Won't even ratify my petitions for a portable designated fart zone. AKA a cardboard box.
- •Because my 4th grade teacher asked me if I had forged my dad's signatureBefore I had lost all my teeth I was endorsing checks when dad was out of town so mom could cash them. Life of crime.
- •Because I applied for a job at Bunker Hill Community College just because Robin Williams worked there in Good Will HuntingAnd I got it. How do you like them apples?
- •Because my very first kiss was my first kiss goodbyeJust like in that Bon Jovi song.
- •Because I lived in middle-of-nowhere Brazil for two yearsDon't get Dengue fever. Not a party.
- •Because I stayed behind during a tour in England so I could pee into in the world's oldest latrineStudy abroad director gave me high five when I told him. I hadn't washed my hands.
- •Because I ran with the bullsIn Pamplona. Like Hemingway. Except sober. And with a better beard.
- •Because I have four younger brothers and there are only eight years between usWe didn't know Chad was a mistake forever. Jared, yeah, but Chad we didn't find out until we were in our twenties. OMG, his face.
- •Because I was Grandma's favoriteShe would pay me $10/hr to "work" for her so I could eat in college. I once made $70 to take her to see LOTR and eat Mexican food. Best friends forever.
- •Because my wife made me read the Harry Potter series before I could marry herI now have a Snape wand and a snobbish abhorrence for Cursed Child...
- •Because I have a degree in poetryIt was my dream and I lived it. If you've got one, live it.
- •Because I married into a catWatching an ancient animal fail to make it jumping onto a low couch never gets old.
- •Because my dad told me paying for college was on meGot a job mowing lawns when I was 8. Still poor, but seen the world and lived happy so far. Thanks, Dad.
- •Because Frankenstein.Written by a teenage girl in a contest with two famous dude writers and to this day the greatest literary work in the English language (in my prideful opinion).
- •Because Mexican foodA phrase that may or may not be tattooed on my butt.