A few awkward happenings of a twenty something at church

Church, in this list, mainly being the church which I attend whenever I am home from school.
  1. 1.
    The "oh you would just love my daughter" moms
    "Yes, hello, I'm Cameron. No, no I don't have a girlfriend, thank you for asking. Oh, yes ma'am, I'm certain your daughter is lovely. No, no ma'am, I'm not looking for anyone right now. Oh yes, I'm certain. Yes, ma'am, I've been to plenty proms. I've past the acceptable age range for that, ma'am. It was lovely meeting you, yes, I'll be around in the next few weeks. Oh, yes, maybe we will meet one of these Sundays."
  2. 2.
    The "you're on a short list" father
    Much like the previously stated mother. "Yes, hello John, how are you? I'm doing well. No, _____ and I are no longer together. Oh it's alright, it's been a few months anyways. Well, yes, I guess you could say I'm "back on the market." *cue semi chuckle* - a week or so later be speaking with my mother and she passes on the fact that I am on John's "short list" of men he approves of for his daughter. Flattered however now speaking with him is mildly uncomfortable. Does he know I know?
  3. 3.
    The "Hey, you should lead a bible study" call from the pastor
    Now this normally wouldn't be too bad except I wasn't prepped for what the bible study/group was for. Drum roll please.... Men addicted to porn! I was the youngest one there by a good 17 years and was supposed to be leading this group. I'm friends with many of their daughters. This was, by far, one of my most awkward encounters in life.
  4. 4.
    When the pastor speaks about the young single adults group that meets on Tuesday evenings and your mother nudges you
    Not cool, momma, not cool. I'm here for less than a quarter of the year and I don't plan on living around here post graduation. I'm fairly certain (yes, momma, not entirely) I won't be finding my wife three rows ahead of me to the right. Though that one lovey lady did take the communion shot like a champ. 🤔
  5. 5.
    Walking down to the nursery and being asked which one is yours
    Sorry, ma'am, no one to officially claim yet. Though I'm than willing (and dying) to hold one of there precious children. No, ma'am, I'm not really interested in your granddaughter. I just want to hold this seven month bundle of sunshine and spit-up.
  6. 6.
    Being questioned as to why you're in the youth centre
    Hello, Teresa, it's a pleasure to meet you. Yes, I know what I'm doing here- I was the youth pastor's side kick for the past few years. Funny, I don't remember seeing you during that time. No, I'm sure the kids who were around when I was remember me, I don't need a name tag or to be introduced to everyone.