ALTERNATE MOVIE LOG LINES

  1. A horny chaotician has a bad weekend with a lawyer at an amusement park.
    Jurassic Park
  2. A bad single dad loses his kid and befriends a woman with borderline personality disorder.
    Finding Nemo
  3. A monkey's owner gets involved in dark magic and catfishes the King's daughter.
    Aladdin
  4. A girl in East LA falls in love with the undercover cop who is investigating her brother.
    Fast and the Furious
  5. An Italian mother, who takes up painting, and the story of how she came to feed her son and his best friends and the aftermath of that meal.
    Goodfellas
  6. A CIA agent with a soft spot for monkeys moves back to DC after some time in the Middle East.
    Zero Dark Thirty
  7. A latch key kid gets the worst attendance record and falls in love with the new girl while witnessing her friends con a teacher for better grades.
    Clueless
  8. An overweight fish gets annoyed by 3 fishermen.
    Jaws
  9. A mobster's wife overdoses after a night out with one of his hired assassins.
    Pulp Fiction
  10. A lazy FBI agent in Malibu gets dragged along with his former Ohio State QB partner to take down a crew of bank robbers.
    Point Break