BAD DAD THINGS I DID DURING THANKSGIVING

You either die a hero or live long enough to become the villain
  1. Watched football during dinner
  2. Said a bad word when my team lost
  3. Took off belt and undid pants
  4. Gave food to the dog
  5. Told someone to not move to Oklahoma and insisted that the state no longer exist by way of non-domestic bomb use if you catch my drift
  6. Sighed when the doctor at the table kept talking about surgery
  7. Insisted that buying tickets to basketball games and musicals is best done day of or day before and not 2 months in advance. My reference: "Jewish friends told me.."
  8. Spent more than 5 min in the bathroom
  9. Didn't leave room for dessert
  10. Micro managed the "thankful" portion of dinner