HOW TO WRITE AND READ A EULOGY

I wrote it on Thursday. Read it today.
  1. Research
    Read some notable ones from past presidents, Steve Jobs, etc.
  2. Patience
    Let it come naturally. Put on headphones if you need to. Give it time and it'll come.
  3. Italics
    Put important statements in italics or bold or in caps. Can be helpful when reading.
  4. Review
    Go over it a couple times. Read it and edit. Less is more.
  5. Quotes
    Look up a person you admire's quotes and see if they apply. They almost always will. Lincoln is my go-to guy. He's fuckin awesome and funny. Lyrics of good music is great too.
  6. Reading- walk up confidently
    Give off confidence to put the mourning people at ease.
  7. Clear your throat
    If you've been crying this could fuck up the speech at first. Start strong so you can end strong.
  8. As momentum builds- speak strongly
    Give emphasis to quotes. This can be very helpful for people listening who may be lost in thought.
  9. End strongly
    End with a great quote with confidence if that's what you wanna do. Do it and be gone. "Thank you" and walk off. No time for bullshit. This is a fucking funeral. You won't get claps if you're like me and have SOME experience on stage.
  10. Be proud of yourself
    Congrats, you just did something you're gonna remember for a very long time. You've impacted other humans with sharp writing and wise alpha teaching.