JOBS THAT FIRED ME

  1. Sbarro
    Dropped out of college and fresh out of rehab. Wore a polo shirt as my uniform. Was afraid of the oven.
  2. William Morris Agency
    Agent trainee program. Mailroom. Merger cut backs with Endeavor. Played lots of Mafia Wars on Facebook and ate koo koo roo everyday. Cig break every 30.
  3. Kroger Supermarket
    Bagger. Stole Skoal chewing tobacco and listened to Jurassic 5 as I left "the lot." Ate Wendy's during my breaks. Dad made me get this job after I drove home drunk one night.
  4. BWR Public Relations
    VERY controversial firing. Pls contact them for details. Got lots of Bradley Cooper's swag and endless Oscar screeners. Talked about Kanye's Graduation with high school musical-era Zac Efron.
  5. APA
    My boss got fired. Cig break in the alley every 30.
  6. Luber Roklin Entertainment
    Forgot someone was waiting to see my boss. For 45 min. He was a movie producer. She threw my stuff off my desk so I dated her worst client and became a writer.
  7. Again. VERY controversial.
  8. Last Comic Standing
    PA. 1 day. Hung out in editor's bay and drank Fiji's. Asked to not return.
  9. Froyo place in weho
    Went out of biz. Can't remember name. Was at Santa Monica and Fairfax. Played WTF with Marc Maron podcast over speaker system. Rarely cleaned.