Weather: 90 degrees F, clear skies. Location: Austin, Texas. Time: 6:30pm Central kickoff. TV: national on FOX.
  1. Cal QB Jared Goff is a lot of people's #1 underrated player in America. In year, he will be an NFL millionaire. He looks like a bigger Ryan Gosling at 6'4 20 yrs old.
    E83bd95f 6cb3 4ce1 8b2e abcd405306ce
  2. Texas fired their QB Tyrone Swoopes and replaced him with redshirt freshman Jerrod Heard. Swoopes is an introvert who never smiled and hid behind lineman on the sideline. Heard is super loud and claims that bright stadium lights make him play better.
    86e0bba9 a3f1 4bd5 9e9d 141b7931f6a6
  3. See this is Tyrone Swoopes. He started last year for Texas at QB when the last guy with job quit because he had so many concussions that loud noises and lights gave him migraines. A whole city dislikes this kid for losing more than 6/less than 10 games. I feel bad for him. He just didn't do his job too well.
    12821a54 91fb 446e 9b8e ff188212c885
  4. This is Texas head coach Charlie Strong's 2nd year on the job and is already on the hot seat. He makes $5 million a year tying him at #4 for highest paid in NCAA sports. He got rid of the juice bars and monitors the player's Twitter accounts now.
    99b12874 cc1d 4108 99b7 8efeaf6de89a
  5. 3 days prior, Texas athletic director Steve Patterson was fired. His last job was GM of the Portland trailblazers. His last weekend was a game vs rice where a plane flew a banner asking for his firing. The football program is worth just under $200 million, 20% more than any other in America. He had a lot of responsibility.
    42f9328b 93bf 4774 8987 ec08fe11672b
  6. Quickly in the first quarter, a Texas defender is ejecting for a targeting call: helmet to helmet contact. Cal up 7-0.
  7. After a penalty puts Texas at 3rd and 20, heard throws a bomb for a 45 yard gain. 1st down. He then scores a 2 yard TD. 7-7.
  8. Cal fumbles. Texas recover. Heard throws 57 yard pass and leads to a 27 yard Nick Rose FG. 10-7 Texas.
  9. Cal scores on their next drive that included a Texas lineman faking injury so they wouldn't get penalized for off sides. Cal QB calls him a bitch on live TV. Texas linebacker calls him some slurs after TD. Cal up 14-10.
  10. Texas gets a rare illegal forward pass call but continues to showcase the new QB's skills. Breathe of fresh air for Texas. They score. Texas up 17-14.
  11. Cal goes for a simple 27 yard FG and misses. Both sidelines are in shock. Texas still up 17-14.
  12. In 18 seconds, Cal fumbles the ball after the QB gets crunched between 2 linemen halfway taking years off his life. Texas 300 pound D lineman recovers. TD one play later. Texas up 24-14.
  13. Cal goes on to take 40 sec to drive 75 yards and score. Texas still up 24-21.
  14. Heard throws his first interception setting up a Cal FG. Tied at 24-24. HALFTIME.
  15. Heard shows his youth and they fumble on the opening 2nd half drive setting up a Cal TD. Cal up 31-24.
  16. Texas punts and is losing focus. Cal TD again. Cal up bigger 38-24.
  17. Texas punts AGAIN. Cal up 45-24.
  18. Texas drive includes a brutal face mask call that looked it bent the QB's neck 120 degrees. Heard runs in for another TD. Texas still down 45-31 where it stays for an eternity of 4 min of playing time. People start putting on ABC where #6 USC is undergoing an upset at home vs unranked Stanford and Ole Miss is beating #2 Alabama in Tuscaloosa.
  19. Texas takes its sweet time and scores. Cal up 45-38 but nobody cares cause Goff is coming on the field.
  20. Cal punts in 3 plays and Texas gets the ball back with less than 2 minutes left in the game to tie to go into overtime and Heard scores on a 45 yard TD with 1:11 left in the 4th. Score: 45-44.
  21. Texas kicker Nick Rose misses the extra point and they lose. Cal QB says fuck 3 times and 110,000 people in the stadium are stunned. Blueit consoles him and yeah that's his real last name. Business Insider says that the average Texas player is worth $650,000. Not so sure here.
    1c280060 64c1 4005 8ec4 ea61afac6b1d
  22. Jerrod Heard puts up 527 yards of offense on his own. The most in Texas history at 19 in his 2nd game. What a game.