THINGS MY DAD TAUGHT ME

  1. If you didn't go to a really really hard college, you're a loser
  2. Cancer surgeons are the most important people in the universe
  3. Beemers are fucking awesome
  4. See every movie no matter what
  5. Don't shit on bad movies cause rich people made them and they're better than you, carlos
  6. SNL is the most important show on TV
  7. Any movie about a slacker in Los Angeles is the funniest movie ever
  8. Drinking is unhealthy but fast food is ok
  9. Don't do drugs cause they're addictive
  10. Jesuit priests are allowed to hit you at school
  11. If you didn't get hit in high school, you went to a bad high school
  12. Adam Sandler's friends in movies are super funny
  13. The 80s were the greatest time in earth's history
  14. HBO is the best channel ever
  15. Every guy should have 100 colognes
  16. Chris Messina on @mindy project is super funny
  17. Johnny drama is hilarious
  18. Michael Mann is king
  19. Electronic music is the best