HOW YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN IN THE AIRPORT FOR TOO LONG
An unexpected 7-hour (and counting) layover at DFW led me to create this list. Add on.
- •You have a favorite stall in the bathroom.
- •Those $9 strawberries you gawked at when you first arrived? They snatched them up and thought they were a steal.
- •You no longer have to ask your neighbor to watch your things while you make a candy or bathroom run.
- •You've begun to rationalize doing your overdue holiday shopping in the Best Buy and Benefit vending machines.
- •You no longer react when your flight gets pushed back an hour.
- •The airport staff begins handing out cots.
- •You know all the scents of L'Occitane en Provence soaps and lotions by heart.
- •You've witnessed a couple breaking up.
- •You've witnessed a couple making up.
- •You've imagined all the things you'll say when your neighbor at the gate finally wakes up to turn off his blaring alarm coming from his bag.
- •You're too tired to move so that he'd no longer your neighbor.
- •By the time he wakes up to turn it off, you have grown so accustomed to the blaring that you no longer care enough to berate him.
- •You've seen approximately 587 selfies and videos being taken for social media purposes.
- •You've used the word fuck in the first sentence with a stranger. (Not towards them, but about the situation)