Lots of us at Mom's this weekend for Grandma's 90th birthday, which means we have quorum for our most-beloved (and fierce) family competition. Welcome to Chopped: Hetrick Family Edition.
  1. *Pre-Competition* - All competitors are exiled while Mom prepares the secret ingredient baskets and kitchen stations.
    I'm drinking wine (in moderation...gotta keep my tastebuds sharp) on the back patio and thinking about the word "umami."
  2. *Drawing for Teams*
    I just want you to know that my sister said this was not rigged but it totally is and now it's on the List Record, so nah-nah Aileen.
  3. Team 1: My aunt Teri and me. We're gonna fucking crush this.
    (Also, we've both had wine and are feeling 👏🏻 our 👏🏻 selves 👏🏻.)
  4. Team 2: My sister Aileen and her boyfriend Scott.
    He's a butcher. Advantage: knife skills.
  5. Team 3: Aunt Jeri and cousin Elise. Fierce competition!
  6. *Team 1 Ingredients*: Teri and I drew 1) Jarred jalapeños, 2) Parmesan tortellini, 3) Peanut butter powder, 4) Brussels sprouts.
  7. *Team 1 Dish*: Pan-fried "wonton-ellini" with five-spice braised Brussels sprouts, all covered in a peanut jalapeño Chinese-style sauce.
    It was really freaking good.
  8. ...More to come. Team 2 is cooking up a storm...
  9. Annnnnd we're back. *Team 2 Ingredients*: BBQ Chipotle pretzel chips, dehydrated hash browns, and marinated artichoke hearts.
  10. This is Scott and Aileen candidly reacting to their ingredients.
    My sister is so mad at me about this picture.
  11. *Team 2 Dish*: Pretzel Chip and Artichoke Heart Hashbrown Nests with baked egg yolks and lime crema.
    Legitimately tasty! Which is good, because there is enough left over that we're having it for breakfast tomorrow.
  12. Update: Teri and I got kicked out of the kitchen because we were being assholes.
  13. *Team 3 Ingredients*: Candy corn, ancient grains cereal, and coconut milk.
  14. *Team 3 Dish*: Ancient Grains Muffin with fresh Strawberry Jam and coconut candy corn sauce.
  15. Oh my god, it's 10:15 and we just finished.
  16. My mom said that we're all winners and I heckled her for supporting the Coddled Generation. All the wine is gone.
  17. Bed time, y'all!
  18. We'll decide a winner in the morning.