MY AREAS OF EXPERTISE

It's almost like stuff you wouldn't even want to be good at.
  1. The intricacies between the taste of diet coke from a plastic bottle, aluminum can, fountain, etc.
  2. Being super mad and offended about something for five minutes.
  3. Listening to you bitch about your day and remembering to ask you later how your work drama turned out.
  4. Aggressively hiding people from my fb feed for posting stuff that makes me mad.
  5. Remembering random smart-sounding facts I learned from TV shows.
  6. Being super critical of something I will immediately forget about.
  7. Reading waaaay too much into whatever you just did or said...or that face you just made...or that .01 second of silence before you answered me.
  8. Not controlling my facial expressions.
  9. Knowing proper grammar but not actually using it.