Terrible Opening Lines To Break The Ice With

Warning- these lines have not been field tested, use at your own discretion
  1. "I once came second in a Saved By The Bell "Screech" look alike contest."
  2. "One time I fit eight jelly beans in my nose."
    This one is a conversation starter, was this in just one or both nostrils? Did they all come out?
  3. "Hey girl, are you a bull fighter because you are matador-able"
  4. "I once won a beauty contest"
    You can be honest here and admit that this was from a chance card in Monopoly or just stay vague, it's up to you.
  5. "My penmanship has been described as somewhat legible"
    Because women like hand written poetry, and they like it more if they can read it.
  6. "Would you like to see my laminated list of the best places to get garlic bread in the city?"
    Bonus points if you specify between with cheese and without
  7. And finally, "I don't normally do this but here is a burnt copy of the Space Jam soundtrack"
    Because nothing gets women interested like "Basketball Jones"