The Downside Of Not Drinking

When I go out with my friends I don't drink, I never have, I've just never felt like it. But I still go out with my friends and these are the slight downsides to the sober lifestyle.
  1. Having To Give A Reason
    All of my friends know I don't drink so I don't usually have to explain myself but every now and then someone will ask me why I don't drink. Usually I'll have my go to answers like "I just don't feel like it" or "I just never have" but sometimes I'll use funnier answers because it's really none of their business, answers like "I can't, I'm pregnant". This is a personal favourite because even though I am male it still takes most people a couple seconds to realize I am joking.
  2. Soda From The Bar
    Just because I don't drink doesn't mean I'm not thirsty, and nothing quenches your thirst like soda from that weird spray gun from the bar. Do you like your Pepsi mostly carbonated but somehow still watered down? Then has the bartender got a drink for you!
  3. Being The Drunk Herder
    Going out with drunk friends can sometimes be like taking a kindergarten class on a field trip "Okay everybody put on your shoes" "No not that way, this way guys", "No don't eat that buddy, that's dirt". I swear if someone invented leashes for drunk people they would make a fortune.
  4. You Have No Excuse For Being An Idiot
    When people are drunk and do something stupid they have the perfect excuse, "Oh sorry, I was drunk, that's not how I usually am". The only excuse I have is "Oh sorry, I'm an idiot and this is how I am normally."