A process: writing for writing's sake

At the behest of @Jaycer17 interest I've decided to make this list.
  1. 1.
    Original request:"tell us anything you can about your writing. Habits, influences, aspirations. The tip you consider the most important one read, given, said, or heard."
  2. 2.
    I went into brief detail on this in the list @Jaycer17 asked me on originally. But as it comes to the skill of writing I tend to go on and on and on about it. So I'm dedicating a full list to it.
  3. 3.
    Anything I can? Hm.
  4. 4.
    I've always thoroughly enjoyed reading . Ever since I was a mute little boy too scared to spend a night away from his parents. I only really got into writing in high school. When I started gaining confidence and a voice. English class is a favorite of mine. I took advanced creative writing two years in a row.
    My current advanced placement English teacher happens to be my old creative writing teacher. Excuse me while I jack off my ego a bit but he insisted earlier this year that I was one of his favorite writers to have come through the class in recent years. (I was very pleased to hear this of course.)
  5. 5.
    Next to me as I type all of this is my notebook from year 2 of creative writing. I dislike an enormous amount of it (a girl I'll get to in a second tried to get me to write longer stories. I don't love what I wrote at the time (it was forced, blech.) though I do miss that time in my life.)
  6. 6.
    Anyway. A little over 15 months ago I met a girl. It always makes me laugh to remember that at one point I thought very little of her. Just another strange girl my friend needed to introduce me to. It only took me 5 months to fall for her.
    The most destructive and intense and often most beautiful love is that which you never expect. That sneaks up on you from out of nowhere and obliterates your original life. However you perceived it to be.
  7. 7.
    Physically she was very attractive. But the wonder was in her soul, her personality, her eyes. My god her eyes. They floored me. There was something so utterly soft in her face that made me feel simultaneously electric and numb and powerless. Thinking about that look now gives me such pause. Adoration doesn't begin to cover it.
    It was utter divinity and so much grace. And an unperturbed gentleness. "That look. Like hopeful satisfaction. Like the brilliant softness that envelopes one as warm and comforting as any day in the folds of sunshine on tall grass."
  8. 8.
    Eventually I asked her if I could write a poem about her. She was enthusiastic and encouraged me to. I still have the rough drafts in my notebook here aha. It took me two weeks. I still remember her reaction.....
    [jeg elsker deg. Jeg er så lei. vær så snill å tilgi meg.] although if she's reading this she'll probably kill me before forgiving me in Norwegian. Any of my motivation to express to the world my emotions for her was tantamount, in her mind, to betrayal. Not that I can really blame her.
  9. 9.
    I won't get into the nitty gritty of the rest of that relationship (the emotional fallout of which I am still dealing with.) Needless to say I wrote over 17 full page poems for her. Many of which I showed here. Many of which she never read, for her own reasons and mine.
    I wish she had.
  10. 10.
    "Knowing she was suffering pained me. That’s the way love tangles you up. I couldn’t stop loving her, and couldn’t shut off the feelings of wanting to care for her—but I also didn’t have to run to answer her texts. I was hurting, too, and no one was running to me."
    -an asshole I don't remember.
  11. 11.
    The poet Rilke said, "So rescue yourself from these general themes and write about what your everyday life offers you; describe your sorrows and desires, the thoughts that pass through your mind and your belief in some kind of beauty."
  12. 12.
    "Describe all these with heartfelt, silent, humble sincerity and, when you express yourself, use the things around you, the images from your dreams, and the objects that you remember. If your everyday life seems poor, don't blame it; blame yourself; admit to yourself that you are not enough of a poet to call forth its riches;"
  13. 13.
    "because for the creator there is no poverty and no poor, indifferent place. And even if you found yourself in some prison, whose walls let in none of the world's sound - wouldn't you still have your childhood, that jewel beyond all price, that treasure house of memories?"
  14. 14.
    "Turn your attention to it. Try to raise up the sunken feelings of this enormous past; your personality will grow stronger, your solitude will expand and become a place where you can live in the twilight, where the noise of other people passes by, far in the distance."
  15. 15.
    I really don't "write" very often so much as I get these bursts of inspiration or a need to put words down. Ultimately writing to me is releasing whatever is inside. Whether that's anger, fear, sadness, or most commonly passion. I write about what I'm passionate about.
  16. 16.
    Most importantly I write honestly. Too many people write pieces that they think will sympathize with other people. Without realizing that to get others to follow you, you have to talk about the things that you're afraid to show and the thoughts that plague you before you go to sleep at night.
  17. 17.
    "It was always late at night, when everything and everyone else was quiet, that those voices would rise like ghosts, soft and haunting, filling my mind until sleep finally came."
    - some asshole that I don't remember.
  18. 18.
    Write as if no one will ever read what you're writing. It's the only way to be completely forward. Edit later for the sake of privacy (nobody wants to be completely known). Do not fear criticism and attack. If you are writing freely this is inevitable.
  19. 19.
    Write when you're bored. Write about being bored. About the moment. Write about the fucking brick in the corner of your house that's a different shade of beige than the rest. Just do it. Leaving thoughts in your head only leads to mental lockjaw. Repeat sentences if you have to. Dig into your most nagging emotions.
  20. 20.
    Read good books. Listen to podcasts. Absorb information. Re-read your favorite parts (mantras). Highlight everything that grabs your attention. I've always thought that the key to getting something right is to absorb everything and then apply whatever sticks. The good shit sticks.
  21. 21.
    I tend to put on a single song or album that fits the mood I'm shooting for or harmonizes with me and then I go. I really don't listen to the song but it's nice to have something there. I know of one author who watches a single movie muted on repeat from 11 pm to 5 am as he writes. Whatever works.
  22. 22.
    I don't have any authors that consistently wow me but my favorite authors write bluntly, unapologetically, and with little disregard for anything but the god damned truth of human matters. Opening up our polarizingly bitter, corrupt, beautiful, tortured, and wonderful centers. No bullshit. No romanticism. Just honesty.
  23. 23.
    “I love it when passion rips open that dull nine-to-five façade and bares the writhing orgy of need underneath.”
    - Excerpt From: Kreider, Tim. “We Learn Nothing.”
  24. 24.
    “My friend Lauren once told me that she could totally understand—which is not the same as sympathize with—those losers who kill their exes and/or their exes’ new lovers, that black, annihilating If-I-can’t-have-her-then-no-one-else-will impulse....
  25. 25.
    ....because it’s so painful to know that the person you love is still out there in the world, living their life, going to work and laughing with friends and drinking margaritas. It’s a lesser hurt than grief, but, in a way, crueler—it’s more like being dead yourself, and having to watch life go on without you.”
    - Excerpt From: Kreider, Tim. “We Learn Nothing.”
  26. 26.
    Because people are so often truly false with everyone around them. We hide, not that we can blame ourselves. It's disturbingly difficult to be true to oneself. We are a social species and our biology clings unrelentingly to our ignorant fears and the biases we have towards vulnerabilities like honesty.
  27. 27.
    Learn to love the fool in you...
    "I must learn to love the fool in me-the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries. It alone protects me against that utterly self-controlled, masterful tyrant whom I also harbor and who would rob me of my human aliveness, humility, and dignity but for my fool."
  28. 28.
    It's in our god damned cells to despise the outsider. In Albert Camus' "l'etranger" about the conviction and ultimate sentencing of a man who is utterly unconvinced of a supreme creator. It is his apparent indifference and ignorance of our touted social constructs that leads to his punishment.
    (If I'm not analyzing it though I'd say the guy was pretty fucking weird. We can reason all we want but mersault is clinically sociopathic at best. Immoral at worst. He killed a man because the fucking sun got in his eyes as he approached.) but Camus point stands.
  29. 29.
    My influence is experience. I take from life and what is around and inside me.
  30. 30.
    My aspiration is to write long books and longer poems. To live and love and most importantly to transform others with my writing. To see into and reveal the beauty in people. To confound and amaze and inspire and perplex and devastate.
  31. 31.
    Truly I'm a selfish, bastardous, ingrate. I write because not to write would mean I would be missing out on so much of what it is to be human. Ever since I saw what I did to her with my words I've been addicted to it. It's worse than addiction. It's ephemeral and golden and devastatingly beautiful and cancerous to the soul.
  32. 32.
    It only makes matters worse that there aren't any such addiction centers to relieve yourself of its benediction.
  33. 33.
    Voltaire said, "this ridiculous weakness is perhaps one of our more stupid melancholy propensities. For is there anything more stupid than to be eager to go on carrying a burden which one would gladly throw away? To loathe ones very being and yet to hold it fast. To fondle the snake that devours us until it has eaten our hearts away."
  34. 34.
    I think buckowski or somebody said, "My dear, Find what you love and let it kill you. Let it drain you of your all. Let it cling onto your back and weigh you down into eventual nothingness. Let it kill you and let it devour your remains. For all things will kill you, both slowly and fastly, but it’s much better to be killed by a lover."
  35. 35.
    Because to be honest, passionate, and open to the utter blackness of man and ourselves is to destroy our former conclusions. It is terrifying as it is exhilarating. Some nights you'll go to bed bursting with inspiration only to find in the morning nothing but empty notes and a headache.
    Keep writing anyway.
  36. 36.
    At times people will despise you. In fact so often very few people will even like you. Some may put up with you. This is the nature of people.
  37. 37.
    "If you’re going to try, go all the way. Otherwise, don’t even start. This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives and maybe even your mind. It could mean not eating for three or four days. It could mean freezing on a park bench. It could mean jail. It could mean derision. It could mean mockery–isolation. Isolation is the gift
    All the others are a test of your endurance, of how much you really want to do it. And, you’ll do it, despite rejection and the worst odds. And it will be better than anything else you can imagine. If you’re going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will be alone with the gods, and the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It’s the only good fight there is."
  38. 38.
    Some rules to ignore if you'd like to be a writer. And other things.
    1) Never trust a cop in a raincoat. 2) Beware of enthusiasm and of love, both are temporary and quick to sway. 3) If asked if you care about the world's problems, look deep into the eyes of he who asks, he will never ask you again. 4) Never give your real name. 5) If ever asked to look at yourself, don't look. 6) Never do anything the person standing in front of you can't understand. 7) Never create anything, it will be misinterpreted, it will chain you and follow you for the rest of your life.”
  39. 39.
    "Things aren't all so tangible and sayable as people would usually have us believe; most experiences are unsayable, they happen in a space that no word has ever entered, and more unsay able than all other things are works of art, those mysterious existences, whose life endures beside our own small, transitory life."
    - Rilke
  40. 40.
    Don't fall in love with us writers. No matter how charming, sensitive, inventive or fun we may be. We aren't worth it in the long run. We're emotionally too expensive and the upkeep is complicated. We're like having a vacuum cleaner around the house that breaks all the time and only Einstein can fix it.
    - idfk