Birthday thoughts

Yesterday was my official birthday. Here are some thoughts
  1. 1.
    Holy fuck
  2. 2.
    What has happened with my life?
  3. 3.
    How am I this close to 2 decades old?
  4. 4.
    2 decades filled mostly with me being a total naive asshole.
    Ah self deprecation. I wondered when you'd pop in.
  5. 5.
    First of all I should get this out of the way.
  6. 6.
    I forever have and always will despise the happy birthday song with a burning passion.
  7. 7.
    Especially when sung by employees at red robin as I attempt to peacefully consume a frozen dessert.
  8. 8.
    Ugh
  9. 9.
    It's just not healthy to listen to it.
  10. 10.
    I feel pressured to smile at everyone (which as a rule I only smile rarely) and they're all looking at me and I just want to not be the center of attention. And it's just a god awful song.
  11. 11.
    Makes me like...
  12. 12.
    And....
  13. 13.
    Just... Don't sing it.
  14. 14.
    I'm perfectly and wonderfully happy to receive the normal happy birthday greetings.
    Today I got a message from an acquaintance's ex girlfriend. I guess she saw on Facebook. 👍🏼
  15. 15.
    Update: it is now later in the birthday evening.
  16. 16.
    I have a head ache because that's what sitting in a freezing cold room studying economics for 90 minutes does to you.
  17. 17.
    Spent an hour with that cutie I mentioned a few lists ago.
    The one I played scrabble with
  18. 18.
    She and I being avid speech competitors. She has requested my partnership in performing a dual interpretation of a play she loves.
  19. 19.
    It's about a date between two totally different people.
  20. 20.
  21. 21.
  22. 22.
    Did I agree to it you ask? Duh
  23. 23.
    I should mention that the only thing keeping me from asking her out is the fact that she is unequivocally taken by another guy.
  24. 24.
    The cruel hand of timing and fate strikes me down.
  25. 25.
    But she occasionally flirts with me and I enjoy it so I don't see the harm in being best freaking buddies with her.
  26. 26.
    Overall she's just fun to be around.
  27. 27.
    And gorgeous
  28. 28.
    And drops lots of charged comments my way
  29. 29.
    Sooo.......
  30. 30.
    Anyway
  31. 31.
    She's all I feel like thinking about today
  32. 32.
    Update:
  33. 33.
    Got some presents
  34. 34.
    I hate sounding ungrateful but the majority of them just were not unique at all
    I got underwear.... Underwear..... From my dad............
  35. 35.
    My favorite though was this book (Liz) got me.
  36. 36.
    We both love John Greene so she got me the only one we both hadn't read yet
  37. 37.
    I finished it in three days
  38. 38.
    Gave it to her so she could read it today.
  39. 39.
    I hope she likes it as much as I do.
  40. 40.
    Cus then we can talk about it and make connections and stuff
  41. 41.
    Hopefully I dream about her tonight.
  42. 42.
    Update: I did not.
  43. 43.
    But my head ache is gone!
  44. 44.
    Hurrah!!
  45. 45.
    Don't hate me for this but Actually I started a conversation with someone I hadn't talked to in forever.
  46. 46.
    And she's available....and I used to have a crush on her (3 years ago).......hmmmm
  47. 47.
    And seems to have enjoyed talking to me until 12:30.
  48. 48.
    Ugh. I don't appreciate how quickly my mind has latched onto someone after raving about someone else last night. I think it has to do with my love of talking to people who reply with genuine interest. I find that's rare now a days.
  49. 49.
    I'll make a separate list but I'm hoping this develops. We shall see.
  50. 50.
    I realize most of this list has nothing to do with my birthday
  51. 51.
    In fact my birthday felt very un-birthday-e.
  52. 52.
    Kind of how Christmas stops feeling quite as much like Christmas as you get older.
  53. 53.
    So yeah... Pretty much a normal day.