Do You Ever Just....

  1. 1.
    ...feel like stopping a conversation if the other member suddenly seems less enthused that you are talking together.
  2. 2.
    ....feel like throwing your phone across the room when it autocorrect of to if or fuck to duck or I'd to if and then if to of.
  3. 3.
    ....feel like not feel like getting out of bed and talk yourself into just laying there contemplating the embrace of blankets and comforter that is your bed.
  4. 4.
    .... Feel like eating an entire pint of ice cream because the world is a mean place and ice cream isn't.
  5. 5.
    ....feel like calling or texting that one friend and then you remember it's just not the same thing any more so you put the phone down.
  6. 6.
    ....feel like making a list about your emotional status at the moment but press delete halfway through because you realize how absolutely insane you'll sound or that you'll totally bum out the rest of list app.
  7. 7.
    .....feel ashamed of your emotions. Like you should be stronger because there are people going through worse (like cancer and poverty and war) but the feelings are still there anyway.
  8. 8.
    .....drop your phone on your face while laying in bed and immediately start laughing because that was a silly thing to do.
  9. 9.
    .....imagine that your soul mate is out there thinking about you right now.
  10. 10.
    .....imagine alternate realities that make you a super hero or where you made a better decision at that one time.
  11. 11.
    .....want to have sex with someone beautiful and forget your shitty problems for a blissful hour or two
    (cuddling is a part of sex, the best part, and deserves a good hour at least.)
  12. 12.
    .....feel like packing up one bag and going on an adventure. Learning how to sail, ride a motorcycle, fight crime, be on your own. Away from life just for a few wonderful years.
  13. 13.
    ....feel that life is nothing more than a very long cloudy day broken up by brief moments in the warm sun light until you find yourself over cast again.
  14. 14.
    ....want to tell someone how much you love them but you can't because according to social norms and our understanding of the word love it would be weird.
  15. 15.
    .....become so angry at someone that you lose all emotion and have to stop talking to them, start treating them like an apparition instead, and can only seem to focus on doing physical chores or completing assignments or doing busy work or mindlessly working towards that goal in a video game of watching through that one series in a single night.
    Really you yourself become the ghost.
  16. 16.
    .....turn on your band that you listen to when you need to feel the depth of your soul.
    I'm a hozier fan myself. If not him then lord Huron. Or Priscilla Ahn
  17. 17.
    .....realize that humans are tricky creatures and relent to hiding yourself away under blankets until the storm blows over.
  18. 18.
    .... Become so sad and physically or emotionally broken that you take on the persona of a strong and aggressive character (frank underwood from house of cards) so that you will be prepared to get through the day.
  19. 19.
    .....kiss your own arm in that one spot where the skin is soft so that you can put your lips to something at least resembling another human being.
  20. 20.
    ......understand you're supposed to be kind to others but some days it's just such a pain in the ass to fake it.
  21. 21.
    ......watch the rain fall outside and breathe in that smell.
  22. 22.
    .....go on a long walk and come back feeling like the weight is off your shoulders
    Walks are like meditation in terms of benefit. Long ones. 30 or 45 minute long walks.
  23. 23.
    .....just fall into your music and sing by yourself or to everyone in the house.
  24. 24.
    ....eat brownies for breakfast because fuck those doctors of yours and the health teacher in junior year.
  25. 25.
    .....dance like no one is watching. Even if someone special is.
  26. 26.
    ....stay in bed making lists about lists about other things. Feel unsure as to if the current list is just sad or accurate or both.
  27. 27.
    ....imagine sweet sweet revenge plots in your head. Anywhere from kicking a bullies ass to spitting your ex by making out with someone so much hotter in front of her. Or even better just being the kind of cool confident person who handled them with class instead of the soft and caring individual that you are who was hurt so much by them.
  28. 28.
    ......feel betrayed and cheated by someone until you realize how awful it was knowing them and you suddenly feel good that they've given you the perfect opportunity to leave. To evaporate like water on a hot day. To fade into nothing. Let them feel the shock of your absence. Because your presence was more powerful than they realized.
  29. 29.
    .....get that text from a friend in that moment you feel most alone and cry a little because they immediately need to know how they can help you feel better.
  30. 30.
    ......try to picture what it would be like to have someone special wrap their arms around you and curl themselves around you and breathe you in and never let go. And how you'd play with their hair and draw circles on their shoulder with your finger and they'd sleepily smile.
  31. 31.
    ...... Start jamming to that one song because it's always gonna be your jam and you'll be digging it when your grand kids get embarrassed by your moves 50 years from now.
    Mine is September by earth wind and fire. That shit is goooooooddddd.
  32. 32.
    .... Get out of a relationship and become extremely proud of the person that is you and immediately begin purposefully kicking ass in everything you do and just being that badass you'd always wanted to be. Riding the wave of residual energy that is a break up of two people. You have fallen back on yourself. Relying on your strength of character.
  33. 33.
    .....watch long hours of your favorite show to distract you from mind numbing emotions. Laugh a bit at how stupid a thing it is to be human sometimes.