Here you are @socks
  1. So yeah
  2. This one time.
  3. Literally about 4 moths ago
  4. I was talking to this one girl.....
  5. I should back up.
  6. I met her after I accidentally liked a whole bunch of her Facebook posts without knowing it.
  7. She messaged me and was like "bro. Why are you blowing up my Facebook?"
  8. And I was confused because I hadn't been on anyone's Facebook.
  9. I was just liking stuff I liked that appeared in my newsfeed.
  10. She showed me screenshots of her notifications. My face was everywhere.
  11. 😐 oops
  12. Any how. We both started chatting and became pretty good friends.
  13. So a week or two later I'm hanging out with some dudes I know playing xbox.
  14. And she texts me.
  15. She says "hey since we are free I was wondering if you wanted to go see a movie"
  16. And I was like "yeah sure"
  17. So we decided to go see the Martian.
  18. Now since I couldn't drive yet not could she her mother drove us.
  19. And as we drove she started asking me all these questions.
  20. What I like to do. What my hobbies and interests are. Favorite tv shows. Etc
  21. And I thought "cool she's genuinely interested in my life. Neato"
  22. So we get to the movie. And we pay and sit down in comfy seats.
  23. I'm all dressed up and she's pretty much in pajamas.
  24. Of course we went to see the Martian (I LOVE Matt Damon) and I was immediately transfixed with the action in the screen.
  25. She however started feeling up my arm.
  26. 😳
  27. I was a little weirded out by this but being the big strong hunk I am I sort of brushed it off and kept enjoying the film.
  28. A few minutes later she starts really moving up and down my arm. All "sensual" like 😐
  29. And into my shirt. And around my NECK.
  30. Girl was practically in my lap.
  31. Okay no. She was in my lap
  32. But the one thing that convinced me this was just a really weird girl was that she was acting super tired. And I thought she was trying to nap. I've had friends that are girls nap on me before. I'm a toasty dude. Can't fault me for being cozy.
  33. Now. This year has been an educational year in terms of women and how to act around them and what their actions mean.
  34. But at this point in the year I was BEYOND STUPID about women.
  35. I was mostly annoyed that she was distracting me from the epicness of Matt freaking Damon.
  36. Like, "I came here to watch a damn good film madam!! what are you trying to distract me for?"
  37. So the movie ends. We walk out.
  38. The mom pics us up.
  39. She drops me off. The girl walks me to the door.
  40. And I sort of hug her and say good night and that I had fun.
  41. And she gets sort of Awkward for a second but goes back to her mom
  42. And a later that night she texts me "I thought you were gonna kiss me"
  43. And I am so damn confused it's unreal
  44. "Why would I kiss this girl? We saw a great movie that she slept through and she wants me to kiss her all of a sudden" 🤔
  45. And of course it hit me.
  46. It
  47. Was
  48. A
  49. DATE
  50. The mom was grilling me to make sure I was a stand up guy for her daughter and the girl was trying to get freaky in the theatre.
  51. 😳😳😳😳😳
  52. But the Martian was awesome. I freaking LOVE Matt Damon.
  53. So yeah
  54. I didn't know it was a date you guys.
  55. 😐