1. So I'm staying up
  2. I got in bed
  3. But I'm awake
  4. And I don't really want to sleep
  5. I feel like being alone with my thoughts
  6. My friend was talking to me
  7. But she went to sleep about 20 minutes ago
  8. Which is fine
  9. I don't really wanna talk anyway
  10. I'm listening to my sad playlist
  11. Not really sure why I'm sad though
  12. It's not devastating sad
  13. I kinda like it actually
  14. It's sad the way rain seems sad
  15. Lightly and not in a bad way so much as a gentle way
  16. I guess it just feels like I'm missing someone in my life
  17. And I don't know who
  18. But I hope i find her soon
  19. Late at night like this I feel like Charlie from "the perks of being a wallflower"
  20. Contemplative and distant and wall flowery
  21. I resonated with that book
  22. Which reminds me
  23. I need to let @celestestelle know that I read the book Cus she mentioned it once and how I liked it
  24. And I'll make a separate list about all the stuff I liked
  25. Anyway
  26. My alarm just went off
  27. My early alarm
  28. 3 am
  29. I set one at this hour to get me to have dreams
  30. I've found that if I wake up a while before sleep then go back in that I am a bit more aware of what's going on and can remember more vividly
  31. But I'm still up right now
  32. I might go make breakfast and play Xbox
  33. Or maybe I'll just lay here and look at photos of a pretty girl I know
  34. I like her
  35. She calls me "boo"
  36. And says she adores me
  37. It's nice
  38. I wrote a poem about her and sent it to her
  39. After reading it She said "in a way, I love you"
  40. So I guess she liked it
  41. She said that sometimes she feels like an empty house that no one wants to walk through or look into
  42. That people seem to pass her by
  43. Or just admire what's on the exterior
  44. She said that I'm the only person who looks inside
  45. She said I look at the books on her shelves
  46. And even the ones hidden in her floorboards.
  47. And by that she means all her inner thoughts and then some of the more secret ones
  48. And that analogy touched me really deeply.
  49. I find her beautiful
  50. I'd show you but that wouldn't do her justice
  51. She draws too
  52. What a beautiful person
  53. It makes me glad to know her
  54. It's 2:54 am
  55. I'm laying in bed in the dark
  56. And all I can think about is the look in her eyes when I see her