Lazy bastard

  1. 1.
    I'm the laziest bastard I know
    That in itself is too simplistic. I must work harder!!!
  2. 2.
    I made a commitment to list every day no matter what
  3. 3.
    Come hell or high water
  4. 4.
    Lightening and thunder
  5. 5.
    Or new episodes of bojack horseman
  6. 6.
    I must list at least once a day!
  7. 7.
    Hell
  8. 8.
    I actually considered upping that to two lists per day a week ago
  9. 9.
    But I've come to find that much like the tides
  10. 10.
    My motivation to make actually interesting and long lists ebbs and flows
    Like the tides
  11. 11.
    Spewing kinda works when I'm like this
  12. 12.
    Much less work involved
  13. 13.
    Makes me think about the nature of considering a task and the actual act of completing said task
  14. 14.
    What I mean Is how
  15. 15.
    When I think about doing something
  16. 16.
    My brain comes up with all sorts of reasons I just don't freakin want to do it
  17. 17.
    No matter what it is
  18. 18.
    Ordering slightly off menu at a flexible restaurant.
    "I think I'd like a side of Swedish hen ala asparagus truffle with my sorbet and also....." Brain: NO NO NO NO!!! "Actually that sounds wonderful, gotta watch that waistline am I right or am I right?" *awkward laughter and aversion to eye contact ensues* the waiters name is dillan. Much like the singer, he's got an interesting perspective on the blood diamond trade in Kosovo. (Can't make this stuff up folks. Except when I totally can.)
  19. 19.
    Asking that attractive young lass for her number.
    It was early 2016. The location? An undisclosed intersection sporting a relatively well rounded ice cream parlor complete with an assortment for every pallet possible. The girl? Her golden hair dropped gracefully down her back in an effort to expose such lavish rolling expanse that was her... You get the idea. "I should ask her ou..." Brain: NO NO NO NO NO!!! "Okay... But maybe I could jus.." "NO NO NO NO NO!! Too hard!! Slow down!! Get some ice cream and LEAVE!!" "Okay". I ordered vanilla swirl
  20. 20.
    Getting up to order pizza
    "I'm hu.." Brain: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! * starves to death*
  21. 21.
    So you can see how this might affect my ability/willingness to come up with something at least laughably entertaining and or pertinent for my list app followers and myself.
  22. 22.
    But on the flip side
  23. 23.
    Once I get started on a list
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    I don't stop
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    I just keep on thinking up new and wonky ideas to illustrate my points.
  26. 26.
    These unfold into more points
  27. 27.
    And soon enough I end up on a totally different topic than I started on.
  28. 28.
    What's up with airplane food am I right?