Notes to My Future Self

If I could communicate with my future me then I would ask/say the following things.
  1. Do I go bald?
    Seriously man. My dad is bald. His dad was bald. My mothers father is bald. His father was bald. Am I doomed to a shaved head? I mean... My anatomy teacher pulls it off so it can't be that bad. I might look pretty badass actually. Do I go bald?
  2. Am I super ripped?
    Yeah I exercise now but do I ever get serious about my diet and lifting? Tell me I have abs of steal and pecs like boulders (flat chiseled boulders). And I swear to god if you've gotten chubby I will build a time machine just to personally slap you into action.
  3. Is my confidence going to keep rising?
  4. Can we teleport yet?
  5. Insta-bacon! Invented yet?
  6. If I were to guess any number between 3 and 10,how close would I be to the number of corgis I have?
  7. How's Mars look in the summer? And what's the mortgage on our vacation home up there?
  8. Did our private jet cost a small fortune or a big one?
  9. Just how many rooms are in our mansion?
  10. Do I need to start stock piling munitions for the inevitable panda war of 2038? I'd be 39-ish by then.
  11. What's my catch phrase? You do have a catchphrase don't you? DONT YOU?????
  12. Has science invented a doggy woggy (corgi King) big enough to ride?
  13. If science hasn't, are you going to?
  14. How's the plan going for developing "pill-a-meal" the unoriginal name for our super original meal squished into a pill idea?
  15. How many super models have you had to politely turn down because you aren't interested in celebrity relationships and are looking for a deeper connection?
  16. How many super-fans have you had to politely turn down because you aren't interested in relationships with obsessed individuals and are looking for a deeper connection?
  17. Are you seeing a psychologist yet? You should get that compulsive need to stay home and eat brownies instead of going to a fun party thing checked out. On second thought nvm.
  18. And Charlie Senior....
  19. Have you found "the one" yet? Because if so.... You did it buddy.
  20. ... And if not.
  21. Just hang in there. She's coming as fast as she can.
  22. How awesome are corgis?