1. When you wake up and just want the house to yourself.
  2. You know, so you can drink too much coffee and make lists and watch Netflix documentaries and maybe masturbate a little.
    I don't judge.
  3. But there's someone home.
  4. They explain to you how they're leaving soon to have lunch with a friend.
  5. You calm down long enough to make coffee and pour it into the cold stuff from last night.
    Giphy downsized medium
    Still good
  6. But they take 45 minutes to leave
  7. It does not take a normal functioning human being this long to leave.
  8. Or am I abnormal in that I'm not tardy to my lunch dates?
  9. Somebody explain this to me.
  10. Ahh..
  11. Watching her car fade in the distance is a magical feeling.
  12. Empty house