Social media universal laws

A world of opposites
  1. 1.
    The people you want to look at your posts never do. The people you would hate to see your posts always do.
    And comment excessively
  2. 2.
    You'll only trend on posts you never intended to be popular. Posts you put hours into, never see the light of 4 re-posts/likes.
  3. 3.
    The one person you hate is the social media guru who's status updates about her dogs latest fashion trend get billions.
    Curiously She's sometimes half naked in them.. The person not the dog. I guess technically the dog. But I mean.. No judgment here. *slirps tea*
  4. 4.
    It takes longer to get from 4 to 100 followers than it will to go from 500 to 10,000.
    Exponential growth more like a real bitch.
  5. 5.
    Everyone but you has a 100 to 1 follower to following ratio. You have to follow double your own follower count to see any recognition.
  6. 6.
    Facebook newsfeed is a black hole of despair and boredom that somehow keeps sucking you back in no matter how hard you try.
    I'm pretty sure Facebook has mastered the art of hypnotism. Also zuckerberg is a massive copycat dick. Looking out for you snapchat.
  7. 7.
    YouTube is more professionally done than some actual television shows. And it's where we get our news now.
  8. 8.
    The comments section on even the most lighthearted YouTube video is a breeding ground of sin and villainous words that will forever spawn new ways to insult someone's sexual identity and mother on the basis of their disposition towards a given fan theory about some series you've never heard of.
  9. 9.
    Never under any circumstances will a high school/middle school age girl not take the opportunity to post something vague and incoherent about how "tough" she has it in some strange attempt to get attention from a boy she thinks is cute and/or all of her needy lifeless friends.
  10. 10.
    The most popular fad is always the most irritatingly catchy fad.
    *Cough* vines *cough*